


NYA! KAI FORGOT TO DEFROST THE CHICKEN!

by Jimblejambles



Category: Lego Ninjago, The LEGO Ninjago Movie (2017)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Multi, Nonbinary! Morro, Nonbinary! Zane, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slice of Life, Some Crack, Swearing, Trans! Dareth, Trans! Lloyd, but this is mainly focused on kai lloyd and nya being disaster siblings and flatmates, everyone in this fic is a disaster, im planning on bringing as many characters in as possible, kai writes for buzzfeed, like after the first few chapters the plot will probably disappear, lloyd is very much done with his job, nya has her shit together, this is somewhat a drabble fic, trans! jay, trigger warnings will also be placed at the start of chapters theyre featured in
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-16 08:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21504952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimblejambles/pseuds/Jimblejambles
Summary: Lloyd questions his life choices as a 16 year old, runaway dropout. Kai is pulling ideas out his ass for his Buzzfeed articles, which means he's doing great. Nya is getting sick and tired of how incompetent her mentor is.
Relationships: Cole & P.I.X.A.L. (Ninjago), Cole & Zane (Ninjago), Cole/P.I.X.A.L. (Ninjago), Cole/P.I.X.A.L./Zane (Ninjago), Cole/Zane (Ninjago), Dareth/Clutch Powers, Dareth/Ronin (Ninjago), Dareth/Ronin/Clutch Powers, Kai & Skylor (Ninjago), Kai/Skylor (Ninjago), Lloyd Garmadon/Harumi, Lord Garmadon/Misako (Ninjago), Misako & Sensei Wu (Ninjago), P.I.X.A.L./Zane (Ninjago), Past Lloyd Garmadon/Harumi, Ronin/Clutch Powers
Comments: 15
Kudos: 32





	1. clean up ya own child's sick ya nasties

**Author's Note:**

> I used to argue that I'm chaotic neutral but it's more of a chaotic evil. Sorry, this is gonna be a mess.

Lloyd really fucking hopes that Brad won’t tell on him when he inevitably snaps and ends up choking Chen out. However, Lloyd needs this job too much to actually risk fighting Chen. This is especially necessary when Chen just so happens to be the boss’s son. Still, Lloyd can dream and mutter curses under his breath as he watches Chen take yet another ‘break’. It could be worse though; he could currently be on tills. Thank the heavens, that responsibility currently lies with Brad, his ‘prodigal’ trainee. 

Brad used to be the perfect trainee, attentive and easy to teach. Then, he started talking to Chen and all Lloyd’s training efforts went out the window. At least, Brad knew when to work hard though even if he’s a dick.

Speak of the devil, “Clean up in aisle 5.” Lloyd weighs his options as he puts down the box of pop tarts he’s unpacking. Technically, he’s on the other side of the store so it shouldn’t be his responsibility. But, he knows that there is no way in hell Chen’s going to clean it up because god forbid Chen do his job. So, Lloyd gets up and heads towards aisle 5. 

On his way, he passes by Brad. “Do you know what it is?”

“Some brat threw up.” Brad deadpans, barely lifting his head up from the counter.

Lloyd groans. “Also, don’t call kids ‘brats’ while on shift.”

“Whatever.” Brad rolls his eyes. “What time is it?”

Lloyd glances about before pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Ummm...3:15.” He pockets it again and moves to head towards aisle 5.

“Wasn’t your shift supposed to end at 3 today?” Brad interrupts.

Lloyd beams. “Yup, which means kiddy sick isn’t my problem!” He can’t help the slight fist bump he does.

“Good luck getting Chen to let you leave when there’s still a mess.” Brad smirks.

“Ughhhh… I just have to get out quick enough that he doesn’t notice.” Lloyd plots.

“Don’t notice what.” Nevermind that plan. Lloyd sighs as he turns to face Chen.

“Brat threw up in aisle 5.” Brad reports, ever the loyal employee.

“And you were trying to leave without cleaning it?” Chen turns on Lloyd.

Lloyd gulps as he prepares his doomed to fail defense. “My shift ended 15 minutes ago and the sick happened a minute ago.”

“Well, I suppose you’re right, but it would be a shame if my dad heard about how unmotivated you are when it comes to work.” Chen twirls his phone to emphasise his threat.

Lloyd bites down a retort about how much time Chen spends lounging in the staff room. Instead, he forces out “I guess I can spare some time to clean aisle 5.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” Chen grins. “Now get to work.” Lloyd trudges away to get some cleaning supplies. “And hurry the fuck up! People don’t want to enter the store to see shit!” Chen yells after him.

Yes one day, Lloyd would destroy Chen, but for now he will continue suffering. Thus, Lloyd grabs some cleaning supplies and cleans up aisle 5. Internally, Lloyd curses his decision to drop out of school and run away from his uncle.

It’s 3:47 by the time Lloyd officially clocks out. He knows he isn’t going to get paid for the 47 minutes of overtime he completed. Chen will mark it down as Lloyd being incompetent, which is rich coming from Chen. Lloyd wishes he could get take out right now; he knows he deserves it. However, he reasons that he doesn’t have enough money to afford it. He will have to settle with whatever’s in his cupboard. This roughly translates to him eating a pot noodle and downing a glass of milk for dinner.

His plans end up thrown askew, however, by the eviction notice placed under his door. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Nya's eyes threaten to roll out of her head.


	2. step one: get a job, step two: regret your life choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nya likes her boss, but he is an idiot and one day, she will be his superior. First, she needs to finish her apprenticeship under him.
> 
> (Her boss talks about jerking off at one point, so be warned, that's there.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, featuring my lack of knowledge of mechanics.
> 
> Nya is hard to write. I apologise.

“Hand me the doohickey, Mia.” Nya’s boss reaches a hand out from underneath the car.

“It’s Nya.” She bites out in response. “And what do you need? A screwdriver? Pliers? A wrench? Funnel? Hammer? A pick?”

“God, you're fucking annoying.” He groans. “A wrench. Hand me a wrench, women.”

“What kind of wrench? An oil filter? Allen? Box-ended?” She lists several more types of wrench before her boss rolls out from the car.

“Oh my god! I’ll get it myself as you’re so incompetent.” He sits up and pushes past her to reach the table. “I don’t know why I thought taking on an apprentice was a good idea. You’re useless.”

“What for asking questions to make sure I hand you the right tools?” She retorts.

“If you had been listening to my explanation, you would know what tool I need.” He grabs a crowfoot wrench and retreats back under the car.

She resists the urge to stamp her foot like a petulant child. “I’m sorry, I did not realise you complaining about your neighbour's dog constituted as an explanation.”

“Ugghhh… do you ever shut up?” The sound of him hitting something makes her jump. “Why don’t you go make some coffee, huh? Make yourself useful for once.”

“You’re a terrible mentor.” She complains, but heads towards the break room anyway. She shoves a cup into the coffee maker. She decides if he’s going to be useless today then she’s going to make her own coffee first. She presses the button for a latte and watches the coffee maker whir to life. She has just finished making her latte and set her boss’s coffee up to make when he walks in.

“You know it’s polite to make your boss’s coffee first. You know like respect your superiors and shit like that.” He scolds as he approaches the coffee maker.

She smirks. “Sorry, I didn’t realise your dumbass would be done this quick. I thought you would still be trying to remember simple tool names.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re a bitch.”

“Careful. I’ll report you for workplace harassment.” She’s laughing though. Her boss is an idiot and completely useless, but he’s entertaining to watch.

He moves to stand in front of her, throwing an arm on the wall to trap her in place. “You love me too much to do that.”

“Come any closer and I’ll break your arm.” She goes to jabs him in the stomach and he leaps back. “Besides, I seem to remember you forgot my name earlier.”

“Ah right. Your name.” He grins. “It’s slipped my mind for some reason.” Nya rolls her eyes. “Damn it’s on the tip of my tongue. Mmmm… Sia?”

“No.”

“Leah.”

“Nope.”

“Samantha.”

“Not even close.”

“Oh I’ve got it.” He lets out a short chuckle and raises his hand. “Nyah.” He bends his hand into a paw shape.

“I hate you.” She rolls her eyes. He does this everytime.

“I’m just playing. I know it’s Nya.” He waves her off. “Anyway, you’re free to go for the day if you wish.”

“Why? You got plans?” She teases.

He smirks. “You betcha. It consists of me, a laptop and copious amounts of lube.”

“EW!” She groans. “You’re disgusting.” She pours what remains of her latte down the sink, deciding he can wash up. “I’m out.”

“What don’t wanna watch me jerk my brains out?” He laughs.

On her way out, she pretends to hold a phone to her head. “Yes, hello. I’d like to report workplace harassment.” He simply blows a kiss in response.

She pops into the locker room to grab her backpack, letting her hand run across the other lockers. She checks her reflection in the mirror she’d glued to the inside of her locker. Smiling, she slams her locker shut. Finally, a day she’d managed to avoid smearing oil on her face. She swings her backpack onto her bag and heads out. She glances around to ensure no one’s nearby before tugging her jumpsuit out of her ass crack. 

Then, she proceeds to walk down the street towards the shop. She’s not the biggest fan of the shop nearby as most of the employees are assholes, but it’s cheap and close. She sighs. Everything would be a lot easier if Kai let her get a motorbike. She thinks she deserves one. Afterall, she does want to work as an auto mechanic for the rest of her life and what sort of auto mechanic doesn’t have a sweet ride? Maybe she should build one in secret. Then, Kai can’t complain. Well, he can because that’s ninety percent of what Kai does.

She enters the shop and takes a quick glance at the tills. She resists the urge to pump her fist in the air. It’s the blond kid on tills and he’s the nicest one. It does help that a couple years ago that he turned a blind eye to her trying to steal some food for her brother. She shakes her head, not allowing those memories to resurface. Instead, she grabs a basket and heads down the first aisle.

It takes her all of 15 minutes to grab what she needs. Then she’s on her way to the tills, forcing herself to not look at the chocolate that’s on offer. She places her basket down and begins unloading.

“I hope you found everything ok today, miss.” The cashier smiles as he begins scanning her items.

“Yeah, thanks.” She returns the smile. They continue in silence for a bit as she unloads and he scans.

He taps a few buttons on the screen, before turning to face her. He avoids eye contact. “That will be $40.67.”

“Right.” She fumbles with her purse for her card. Grinning when her hand catches hold of it, she whips it out. He presses a couple buttons then she inserts her card into the machine. She types out her pin and waits for a beat. 2 beats. Then, she removes it and places it back in her purse. Chucking her purse in a pocket, she tries to cram all her shopping into a bag as fast as possible. It causes her to fumble again and she berates herself internally for it. 

Once she’s ready, he waves. “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

She nods in response. “Thanks, you too.” And she heads off, praying that Kai hasn’t burnt down the flat in her absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Kai should not be left unattended. Ever.


	3. everyone's worried about kai's singular braincell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai plots his flat's demise and nearly everyone is horrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was intended to be longer, but then I realised, I can't science.

Kai isn’t going to admit to being in a rut. It’s only been 3 weeks and it’s not like he hasn’t been writing during that time. He’s just gotten worse at writing and most creative geniuses do so from time to time. Like it could be argued that Fall Out Boy got worse. Of course, if he said that out loud, Cole would beat him up and Cole is 250lbs of pure muscle. So, Kai will keep his thoughts to himself. Especially when he knows that if Cole's upset, Zane and Pixal will not hesitate to jump him. No instead, Kai is going to see if there are any fruits and vegetables that can conduct electricity. He might possibly burn down the flat in the process. But first, he needs to acquire some fruit.

Nya doesn’t seem to like the store closest to them, but Kai isn’t willing to make the trek into the city. Besides, Kai knows Nya tends to shop there anyway. She’ll claim it’s because she doesn’t have a motorbike. He’ll claim it’s because of her inability to use a bus. And he’s older and wiser.

He nods at the staff as he passes them. He doesn’t like most of them, but it can’t hurt to be polite. He grins at the realisation, Lloyd is on till today. He only knows Lloyd vaguely, recognising him as Garmadon’s son, but the kid’s a laugh. Once you get past his customer service smile that is. He tosses as much fruit and vegetables in a basket as possible. Then, he marches to the till.

Lloyd frowns as he sits up. “Do I even want to know?”

Kai begins unloading his basket. “I’m seeing if there are any foods that can conduct electricity.”

“I’ll listen out for fire trucks.” Lloyd begins scanning items. “Do you need a bag?”

Kai glances about and pats his pocket. “Yes.”

Lloyd pulls out a couple bags. “Don’t you have some job to do besides blowing up food?”

“I’m doing this for my job.” Kai beams.

Lloyd inhales. “I quit.”

“Nooooo…” Kai pretends to cry. “Then who will scan my shopping?”

“One of the others.” Lloyd sighs as a cucumber fails to scan.

“Who’s even on today?” Kai begins tossing his items into bags.

Lloyd thinks. “Chen and Gene, but I think Sally will be here soon.” 

“Oh god no. You can’t leave me to those two.” Kai pales. “They’d both give me the dirts.”

“Considering what you’re buying, I wouldn’t blame them.” Lloyd squints at the screen. “That’ll be $30.38.”

“Nice.” Kai pulls his card out the back of his phone and shoves it in the card machine. He taps his foot while he waits. Then, he enters his pin and goes to pull his card out.

Lloyd pushes Kai’s hand away. “Don’t. Not yet.” Kai frowns. “Now you can.” Lloyd’s barely got the words out before Kai yanks his card from the machine.

“Thanks kiddo!” Kai calls out as he practically runs out of the store. 

Kai makes it home and is pouring his shopping onto the kitchen counter when his phone rings. He grimaces as he sees who it is. Time to whip out some grade A lies.

“Sup’ Zane.” He answers.

“Nya wanted me to make sure you weren’t planning on burning down the flat.” To most Zane’s voice comes across as rather monotonous, but Kai knows how to read the deeper meanings. Zane’s voice raises slightly towards the end of the sentence and Kai has to bite down a scoff. They’re finding this funny. Little shit. Well, tall shit as Zane’s teetering on the edge of 6’2.

“No.” Kai pauses, forcing his voice lower. “I would never do such a thing. Besides, I’m 22. I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Really? I seem to remember you gassing out your flat last month.” And Kai fights back a smirk at this because that was a good experiment. It made an even better article. He might even call it his magnum opus.

“That was ages ago! I’ve learned and matured since then.” Kai defends. No, he definitely hasn’t learnt or matured since then.

“Again, it was last month, Kai. And before then, there was a time where you smashed a window.” They make a compelling argument.

But, they made one mistake. “I rescind that! That ordeal was Jay’s fault and you know it.”

“I’m sorry. Were you not the one who volunteered your flat for the occasion?” And it’s Zane’s victory. Again. Make that 71 wins in a row for Zane.

“Ok, you got me there.” Kai concedes. “But, I’m not planning on burning down the flat so you have nothing to report to Nya.”

“You’re wrong. I can report to Nya that you admit you’re a child.” God, Kai needs new friends.

“What? I never said that!” He complains.

“Yes, but it was implied from your admittance to such immature acts.” Kai can practically hear the smug rolling off of Zane.

“That’s not what- Ughhhh- I hate you!” He hangs up before Zane can beat up his ego anymore. Kai stands and glares daggers at his phone for a few minutes. His phone lights up a couple times with texts from Zane, but he ignores them. Zane’s probably just teasing him some more anyway. Instead, he contemplates his plan of action. He needs equipment to test the food’s conductivity with. He could raid Nya’s room, but he doesn’t fancy being yelled at today. Pixal would report him to Nya. Cole definitely would not have the equipment for it and Kai doesn’t fancy hearing about how annoying Lou is. Skylor’s currently out of town. Echo would be in school at the moment and is too loyal to Zane. Which means it’s going to have to be Jay. This will be fun. He dials Jay and waits. It doesn’t take long as Jay is near permanently glued to his phone.

“Hey Kai, what’s up? Wait let me guess. You wanna blow something up? Nya’s being annoying? You can’t ask Zane because they’ll tell Nya?” Jay rattles off immediately.

“I’m not gonna blow something up. Why do you all think so little of me? I’m great.” Kai defends. “Anyway, it’s more I need some equipment.”

“What you doing?” Jay raises his voice to imitate Isabella from Phineas and Ferb.

“Never do that again.” Kai deadpans. “And I’m testing the conductivity of fruit and veg.”

“Oooh can I film?” Jay questions.

“No. I’m doing this for my job, not for you to post it on youtube.” Kai wishes Jay didn’t have an urge to try and record everything. Kai’s not even sure what the main point of Jay’s channel is by this point.

Jay whines. “Can I at least watch?”

“Nah,” Kai pauses long enough to hear Jay’s disappointment. “I’ll probably need your help. We all remember my grades.”

“YES!” Jay screeches into the phone. “I’ll be right there! Just let me get dressed!” And Kai’s struck with the realisation that he’s probably going to regret this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zane is fun to write. I should have made this story Zane focused. That way it could have just been Zane sassing everyone (except Pixal).
> 
> Next chapter: If Nya loses anymore braincells to Kai, she's gonna have to reconsider her life choices


	4. sibling fights either end in eternal hatred or knocking on the other's door an hour later to ask if they want chicken nuggets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this case, it's definitely not the second scenario. In other words, Nya is rightfully pissed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing siblings arguing is fun. This one's also pretty short.

To say Nya is surprised to enter her flat to find Jay and Kai frantically trying to waft smoke away from the smoke alarm would be a lie. She hates to admit it, but she’s used to her brother’s stupidity. Her life consists of moving from seeing one idiot to another. But, is it too much to ask for her to have one normal afternoon?

Kai, on the other hand, is currently fretting for his life. Granted everyone he asked, aside from Jay, had told him not to do it. But, none of them understood that Kai did this for the greater good. Yet, as he stands on the kitchen counter, desperately fanning the smoke alarm, he can’t help but regret his life choices. Especially when he spots Nya standing in the doorway.

“Nya, I can-” He begins.

“What the everloving fuck did you do?” Nya interrupts, marching into the kitchen. Jay retreats to the corner to avoid the upcoming sibling argument.

“I didn’t mean to!” Kai defends.

“No! You never fucking mean to! Just like last time and the time before that! It’s like you just gave up using your brain when you got this job!” Nya explodes. “We can’t even keep a solid flatmate without you scaring them off! It’s like you want us to get evicted!”

“It’s just a bit of fun-” He tries to stand up for himself.

“Fun? Nearly burning down our flat is fun?” She paces, for lack of anything to punch other than her idiot brother. “Well, I’m sorry if I don’t find the idea of getting home to find you’ve burned the flat down funny! Or even worse the idea that it claims you along with it!”

“Nya, I’m so-” Kai starts.

“No. Don’t fucking apologise! If you were sorry, you wouldn’t keep making the same damn mistake!” Nya cries. She shoves her shopping bags at him before turning away. “Ughh. I’m done. Jay take me to Pixal’s.” Jay scrambles forward to follow her out the door. Kai is left behind with his mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Ronin didn't realise that owning a pub would mean doubling as a therapist for idiots.
> 
> (FINALLY 1/3 OF THE RAT MEN WILL BE INTRODUCED)


	5. one day ronin will turn these brats down at the door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kai goes to the most respectable boomer he can find. Unfortunately, Paul Rudd was unavailable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS RONIN TIME BITCHES! Also, there's some alcohol usage in this chapter. (There'll also be alcohol in the next couple chapters)

Ronin waits until Kai is a few shots in before he even attempts to make conversation. Ronin isn’t an idiot, contrary to what Clutch thinks. He knows when to keep his distance, especially when he knows Zane’s pointedly ignoring Kai. However, Ronin also knows that Kai will continue to let his anger stew if left alone. So, Ronin decides to risk unleashing hell’s rage at the risk of losing his other customers.

He slides Kai another shot and begins. “So, what happened?”

Surprisingly, Kai seems to deflate more than anything. “I fucked up.”

“Well what’s new?” Ronin jokes.

That reignites a spark. “It’s different this time.”

“What did you do?” Ronin rests against the bar, letting the other barman deal with customers.

“I keep screwing up and hurting Nya.” Kai admits, pushing the shot away from himself.

Ronin tilts his head. “And why are you doing that?”

“I don’t mean to!” Kai defends.

“I’m not saying you mean to.” Ronin sighs. “Look kid, I’m not gonna judge you. I’m definitely not in a position to be judging anyone and if I did, I’m pretty sure Clutch and Dareth would beat me up.”

Kai looks at Ronin and furrows his brows. “It’s hard to imagine Dareth beating anyone up.”

Ronin laughs. “Yeah, it would mostly be Clutch, but Dareth can be intimidating when he wants to.”

“I can’t for the life of me picture Dareth angry.” Kai squints as if it will help conjure the image of angry Dareth.

“I’ve been in some scary situations in my life and let me tell you, none of them compare to Dareth being angry.” Ronin explains. “Now tell uncle Ronin everything.”

“Please never refer to yourself as ‘uncle Ronin’ ever again.” Ronin’s only response is to roll his eyes. “It’s just Nya knows what she wants to do with her life. Heck, all my friends do. I mean Zane’s working as a chef for you right now, but I know they have plans to open their own restaurant one day. Jay’s a successful youtuber and I know he’s hoping one day to have his own show. Cole’s an actor on Broadway and I’m pretty sure he’s been getting movie role offers. And I just don’t know what I want to do. I love Buzzfeed and I get to do all sorts of things because of it, but do I want to do that for life?”

“You know it’s ok to have no idea what to do? Like, I only got this pub a year ago and I’m still not sure if this is the right path for me. But I have two idiots waiting for me when I get home and I know that no matter what I do, they’ll do their best to support me.” Ronin offers.

“Yeah, but I feel like Nya’s disappointed in me and I already get enough of that from my parents.” Kai moans.

“That’s because she knows you’re better than that. You’re better than some idiot who smashes a window or gasses out their flat on impulse. Heck you know you’re better than that.” Ronin pours himself a drink. “And if you came to me hoping I’d pity you, I will throw you through a window. I’m not gonna coddle you.” 

“Oh man. Zane told you about those times?” Ronin nods. “Well, the window was Jay’s fault!”

“Yeah, but we all know Jay is beyond help.” Ronin states.

Kai sighs. “I just don’t know what I should do. I just want to punch something.”

Ronin tosses a set of keys at Kai. “Punching bag upstairs. Knock yourself out.”

“Thanks?” Kai hesitantly picks them up.

“What you think you’re the only one who comes to let off steam here?” Ronin rolls his eyes. “Now scram. I got customers to serve.”

Kai smirks. “Thanks.”

“Yeah whatever you brat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing Ronin. He just radiates grumpy grandpa vibes.
> 
> Next Chapter: Nya finds her comfort in alcohol and living vicariously through Cole, Zane and Pixal's love life.


	6. wisdom should come swift with a hot chocolate and not tea *cough* wu *cough*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cole and Pixal together are 10 ten times more wise than Wu and Nya will stand by that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little bit of alcohol in this chapter, but no one gets drunk. Pixal jumps between being super soft and being super horny. However, there's no actual sex, just a bit of discussion.
> 
> Pixal and Nya are too badass for me to write well.

Nya doesn’t speak to Jay during the whole car ride. She’s already exploded at her brother, she doesn’t need to explode at Jay too. Besides, Jay’s not her responsibility. Jay has two perfectly good parents at home to yell at him. It helps that Nya can also feel the guilty anxiety radiating off of Jay in waves. She doesn’t say goodbye or thank him for the ride. She simply gets out and slams the door behind her.

She knocks on Pixal’s door and tugs on her hair while she waits. Cole’s the one to answer and god had Nya hoped Pixal was home alone. Cole takes in her appearance for a minute before waving her inside. He leads her straight to the living room where Pixal’s wrapped in a blanket. Pixal immediately rises when she spots Nya.

“Nya?” Pixal rushes forward. “What’s wrong?” And seeing the concern of Pixal’s face becomes Nya’s breaking point. “Oh god, Nya? What happened?” Pixal hesitantly raises a hand to Nya’s cheek.

“I’ll go make some hot chocolate.” Cole suggests, leaving the two girls to talk. He pauses as he hears Nya release another sob. “I’ll make that hot chocolate with rum.”

Once Cole’s gone, Pixal guides Nya to the sofa. “What happened, Nya?” Pixal resists the urge to bounce her foot on the floor. Skylor is usually better when it comes to this sort of thing. 

“Kai’s a fucking idiot.” Nya sobs.

“Well that much is obvious.” Pixal smirks. “What’d he do this time?”

Nya scowls. “He nearly set the flat on fire for what? Some stupid article?”

“What a dick.” Pixal leans back resting an arm along the back of the sofa. “You know my offer still stands?”

“Thanks, Pix, but I can’t do that to Kai.” Nya looks up at Pixal and grins through the tears. “Besides, I wouldn’t feel right living in this mansion.” 

Pixal scoffs. “How many times do I say that this isn’t a mansion? This might as well be a cottage.”

“Pix, have you ever seen a cottage?” Cole cuts in as he returns with 3 mugs of hot chocolate. He passes one to Pixal and one to Nya.

“Yes!” Pixal replies indignantly.

“Right.” Cole nods as he sits in the arm chair. “Let me rephrase that. Have you ever seen a cottage in person?”

“I fucking hate you.” Pixal scowls.

“Sure. Love you too.” Cole blows a kiss at Pixal. “Anyway, have you given any thought on why Kai’s suddenly become Jay version 2.0?”

Nya frowns. “He’s an idiot?”

“Yeah, but this is Kai we’re talking about. Mr. I’m gonna bottle my feelings until they explode and then get angry at everyone for not noticing my feelings.” Cole raises his voice to imitate Kai.

“A+ Kai impression.” Pixal gives a thumbs up, her mouth barely leaving her mug.

“What are you trying to say?” Nya leans forward.

Cole shifts in his seat. “Well neither of you really got a childhood and working at Buzzfeed? That’s essentially childhood on speed. So Kai’s probably just picked a god awful time to decide he wants a childhood.”

“Most kids don’t nearly burn down their home.” Nya states.

“Most kids aren’t friends with Jay.” Cole points out. “Besides, I never said Kai was aiming for the average childhood experience. He’s aiming for that Buzzfeed manufactured shit.”

She groans. “Oh great, so I’ve just gotta wait for my brother to decide he wants to be an adult?”

“I didn’t say that.” Cole frowns. “It’s more ya gotta remind him there’s better ways to go about it. Like remind him he can be an idiot, but there should still be a couple brain cells at work.”

“How the fuck do I do that?” Nya loves Cole very dearly, but sometimes he sounds like a remixed Wu.

Cole shrugs. “I dunno.” And Cole’s wisdom again fails him at the most crucial point.

“Through sibling bonding.” Pixal suggests, picking up Cole’s slack. “Think about it, when was the last time you and Kai did anything together for fun?”

Nya goes to answer, but Cole cuts her off. “And hangouts with all of us don’t count."

“Ok, you got me there. But what would we do?” Nya tilts her head.

Pixal furrows her brows. “Something dumb like…” She furrows them further, before relaxing them. “Nope. Sorry. I’m not dumb enough to plan this bit.”

“Go to an arcade or something. Go to maccies. I dunno. Just don’t put too much thought into it.” Cole suggests.

“Arcade and maccies could work.” Nya sips her hot chocolate. “It would be fun to annihilate him at air hockey again.”

Pixal leans forward and places her hands on Nya’s shoulders. “Destroy him.”

Nya nervously laughs. “Ok?” She looks to Cole for help.

Cole rolls his eyes. “Ignore her. Pixal’s just mad that last time we went, Zane beat her.”

Nya smiles. “Ah. I see.”

“Zane cheated.” Pixal states.

“They didn’t.” Cole corrects. “You can’t blame Zane for you being a horny bitch.”

“They were wearing a fitted crop top!” Pixal cries. “How was I meant to focus when they looked that fuckable?”

Cole looks at Nya. “I’ll never forget her face when I owned up to telling Zane to wear that top.”

Pixal scowls. “You also told them to wear those leather jeans!”

“Well yeah. If I’m gonna commit sabotage, I might as well go all out.” Cole shrugs.

Pixal straightens. “That’s it! No sex for a week!”

Cole leans back. “That’s fine by me. I’ll just jerk off in the shower.” Cole smirks. “Or did you forget that sort of thing will only hurt you more than me?”

“I hate you.” Pixal deflates, but rises again. “Ok fine. No kisses for a week.”

Cole jumps up. “No! No! Don’t do this to me! Please, I’ll do anything!”

Pixal looks at Nya. “Men. They’re all idiots.”

Nya smiles. “Amen.” And they clink mugs.

Pixal turns back to Cole. “Beg bitch.”

“Oh hell no!” Nya jumps up. “No! I do not need to see this!”

Pixal laughs. “Your loss.”

Cole sits back down and whispers, “Thank you, Nya.”

Pixal scoffs. “Don’t think you got out of it. We’ll continue this later.”

Nya seems to reach a realisation as she sits back down. “Oh god! I’ve totally intruded on your night. I’m so-”

“Apologise and I will punch you in the face.” Pixal states. “Cole and I were waiting for Zane to finish work.”

Cole nods. “Yeah, besides that all we were gonna do was order Chinese.”

“But this is your date night.” Nya protests.

“So?” Pixal shrugs. “We literally do these every few days and no matter who’s here, Zane and I will end up fucking, and Cole will spoon us afterwards.”

Cole sighs. “What she’s trying to say is that this is probably more awkward for you than us.”

Nya quirks her head. “You two are so weird.”

Cole chuckles. “Believe me. We know.”

“News flash. You’re weird too.” Pixal adds.

“But in all honesty, if you and Zane are gonna be fucking, I’m gone.” Nya states.

Pixal nods. “That’s fair.”

Cole gets up. “Come on. We’ll take you home.”

Pixal frowns. “Wait, I have to come too?”

“Yes. Now get up.” Cole smirks.

“You’re a villain, Cole Brookstone.” Pixal gets up and points at Cole. “You hear me? A villain.”

Nya laughs. “You two are so cute.”

Pixal tilts her head. “Geez Cole, how much rum did you put in her hot chocolate? It’s almost like Nya just laughed.”

“You’re a little shit, you know that right?” Cole ruffles Pixal’s hair, before pulling her into her side. They look into each other’s eyes and Cole leans down so they can touch heads.

Nya resists the urge to melt into a puddle. “That was fucking adorable!”

“Right, home time, Nya.” Cole guides her to the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really should have done a Cole, Zane and Pixal centric fic because their dynamic is so fun to write.
> 
> Next Chapter: Rumour has is that if you spend enough time with someone, you pick up some of their habits, or in Zane's case, some of Pixal's sass.


	7. rumour has it kais wig still hasnt been found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zane defeats Kai using both their brain cells because unlike Kai, they have those.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is a wee bit of a mess. I decided to drink coffee at 11pm and this came out.

Kai has been upstairs for about an hour before Zane decides to take their break. They plate up two bowls of fries to take with them upstairs. Zane finds Kai lying on the mattress. He’s still panting so Zane reasons he’s only stopped using the punching bag recently. Zane sits on the kitchen counter and watches Kai.

“What is this for?” Kai questions, gesturing around at what would be a decently sized apartment.

Zane picks up a fry. “You’re not the only person to go to Ronin for advice.” They plop the fry in their mouth and frown. Clancee’s been sneaking extra salt into the fries again.

Kai sits up. “Who else has been here?”

“Mainly Cole.” Zane starts. “But I think Jay’s sleeps here quite often. Even Nya’s been here a couple times.”

“How did I not know about this?” Kai tilts his head.

“Because you bottle up your problems until they inevitably hurt someone rather than communicating like most people.” They explain.

Kai mocks being impaled in the chest. “Alright. Just tell it like it is Zane.”

Zane smiles and on anyone else would look polite, but Kai knows this smile. This is Zane’s condescending smile. Kai prepares to wince at the next words that come out of Zane’s mouth. “I’m sorry. Would you like me to baby you like the insolent child you’re currently behaving like?”

“Ouch.” Kai flinches. “You’ve been hanging around Pixal too much.”

“I would argue I’m not hanging around Pixal enough.” Zane retorts.

“Ughhh. I’m too drunk for this.” Kai groans.

Zane sighs. “Then get up and come eat some fries.”

“But that’s so much effort.” Kai complains as he gets up.

“Uh-huh. Now shut up and eat your damn fries.” Zane holds a bowl out to Kai.

Kai takes the bowl and moves to sit on a stool. “Yes mum.”

“Call me mum again and I will stick these fries so far up your ass you’ll feel the salt content in your kidneys.” Zane smiles.

“Why can’t Cole have a bigger influence on you, huh?” Kai eats a handful of fries. “Cole openly accepts his role as the mum friend.”

Zane wrinkles their nose at the unrefined way Kai eats. “Well then maybe you should have gone to Cole instead of coming here.” Their phone dings and they fish it out of their pocket to read the text.

“I really should have, but I didn’t know if he was home.” Kai agrees.

Zane nods. “Probably for the best. Cole’s at Pixal’s, which is where Nya went.”

Kai smiles. “At least Nya has someone responsible to talk to.”

“I am responsible.” Zane defends, even as Kai raises an eyebrow. “I’m infinitely more responsible than you, Kai.”

He sighs. “That’s true.”

Zane picks up a fry and twirls it in their hand. “You know, not all of us knew what we wanted to do immediately.”

“What do you mean?” Kai muffles around a mouthful of fries.

Zane’s nose wrinkles. “I went to uni to study computer science because it was all I thought I was good at.”

“What?” Kai frowns. “Why didn’t I know this?”

“I don’t exactly advertise it.” Zane jokes. “I got through the whole degree before realising that I wanted to be a chef. Well, I say I realised it, it was Pix who suggested it.”

“But you always seem so sure of yourself?” He tilts his head.

They chuckle. “I am now. I was so lost back then. Sometimes I’d withdraw into my own little world and Cole and Pix felt so far away, but they’d help me and offer support where they could. And now, I know who I am.”

“Someday, I will drag the story of how you 3 got together out of you.” Kai declares.

“And on that day, Pixal will slit your throat.” Zane states with a smile.

Kai considers this for about 0.5 seconds before he nods. “Worth it.”

“And it’s not just me. Jay nearly quit being a youtuber after a couple months because he didn’t think people liked his videos. Cole isn’t even sure he wants to remain an actor, especially considering he dropped out of uni.” Zane explains. “So, you’re not alone. We’re all here for you.”

Kai leans against Zane’s knee. “How do you know all this?”

“Because, my girlfriend works in the largest tech company.” Zane casually states.

Kai cringes. “Remind me to never get on Pixal’s bad side.”

“It’s fine. Pixal decided months ago you aren’t worth her superior intelligence.” They pat him on the head. 

Kai shuts his eyes. “Yeah. I’m an idiot.” His eyes threaten to water, but he blinks them back. “How do I fix things with Nya?”

“You can start off by talking to her and explaining why you’ve been such a dick.” Zane instructs. “Then, you need to start acting more like a grownup. I’m not saying be boring, but you could think your plans through a bit more. Like maybe doing your experiments outside. I’m sure Jay would let you use the scrapyard.”

Kai facepalms. “The scrapyard! Why didn’t I think of that?”

“Because your brain is the size of your dick.” Zane retorts. “And the most important part of this is let Nya be a kid sometimes. Take her to the arcade. Bring her in on your dumb ideas.”

“She’s been wanting to build a motorbike.” Kai whispers. “But, I’m scared she’ll hurt herself on it.”

“What like she’s always scared you’re gonna blow yourself up?” Zane returns.

“Fair. I guess I could her build the bike.” Kai smiles “Maybe, I can encourage her to make it a quad bike?”

“There you go. Now. Let me drive you home before my break ends.” Zane gets up and begins walking towards the door.

Kai watches for a second before following. “Thanks, Zane.”

Zane holds the door open for Kai. “It’s fine. I’ll just add it to the many numbers of favours you owe me.” 

Kai sighs. “God, I need better friends.” 

“I’m sorry. I thought we were your babysitters.” Zane smirks.

“Oh ha ha ha. Very funny, Zane.” Kai comments.

“Yes, it was quite hilarious.” Rumour has it, Kai’s screams can be heard for miles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it's been a wee while. I have uni deadlines coming up in a couple weeks so I've been prioritising uni work. This means the next chapter might not be til the 21st/22nd of December. I'll try and churn out a chapter before then, but I have so much uni work to do. Who knew fashion design would be so much work?
> 
> I was struggling to ensure that Zane and Pixal are still distinguishable from each other, which is difficult because in the show they're both very prepared to die for others. Also, next chapter is the last in this sort of 'arc'. Only one more chapter til we see some more of Lloyd. (til lloyd comes back from the war)
> 
> Next Chapter: Next Chapter: Kai and Nya eat food and bitch about how rude their friends are


End file.
